THE TRUTH(behind why I don't produce 50 pages a week)

Writing is hard for me, as I said before, I'm technical but what makes matters worse is that I'm also a perfectionist, well at least when it comes to writing. I have a hard time finishing sentences unless I'm completely happy with the product. This is also a reason I don't have nearly as hard a time editing as I do actually writing anything, I'm normally so happy with what I have initially that I don't have to add much else. But honestly it takes me a while to eek out scenes, if I get an entire scene done in one day it's a fucking miracle. I'm hoping to curb this little discipline problem as I get older...(not putting it off I swear) but for now I'm trying to do what I can...I mean 52 pages over a month and a half isn't bad...but the worst part, what fucks me over and slows me down...more than manga, comics, anime, videogames, more manga, and that beautiful girlfriend of mine...THE PHONE. As a product of my generation and surroundings, I made two of my best friends on the internet and the other two live across the country...so a huge part of my emotional and social development happened over the phone...fucking sad right. But I still talk to these friends and my god can they be distracting, it's not their fault I guess, more mine than anyone's but I just get sucked in and I'm stuck and next thing I know I'm so far out of the mood to write that I can't make any fucking progress...it sucks, and I'm going to try and curb that little problem too.

Technicalities

I'm a technical writer, plain and simple. I put stuff into boxes and box those boxes in bigger boxes until I know where everything goes and that makes writing simple. I apparently have the talent to make my boxes all sparkly and shit but that doesn't mean that I have a hold of everything, most things...but not everything. One of my friends (deemed magna editor) said that one of my stories didn't have a soul. What annoyed me about this analysis wasn't its inaccuracy, because by all means I got what she meant...but the problem with a story that's soulless, or dry, or something more metaphysically bad, is that you can't simply pin down the issue with a technical fix...Meaning all my sparkly ass boxes are USELESS...and I like my boxes. But when I come to realize that the boxes don't fix everything I'm sort of suck with a dumb expression, the kind that means I'm not really sure what to do or where to go or how to fix the problem. Sadly, the only way to fix a soulless story that I've figure out, is to like it more...which goes into an entirely different set of boxless difficulties that I don't feel like dealing with right now.

Mysteries are Hard

So it'd be one thing if I were writing like a fantasy novel, or sci-fi or ANYTHING straightforward for that matter, but no, I decide to write a mystery thriller. Honestly plot wise, unless you're a dude like Scott Lynch or George R.R. Martin or Neil Stevenson, who write insanely complex plots, mysteries are the hardest to plot because the plot needs to be complex and relatively elaborate...if you're trying to write something not garbage that is. But regardless it's hard, because you know how it ends but you need to obscure the ending while leaving hints, it's annoying as fuck but hopefully the end result will kick ass.

Welcome

So, I've been talked into this whole blogging thing, never done it before, didn't really think I'd ever do it. But alas here I am, grammatical issues and all. As the title says, I am a wannabe novelist, in the process of my first novel. Been at it since the end of last semester, almost got 50 pages and 1/8th ain't bad for a couple of weeks out of school. I'm a junior Fiction Major at Columbia College Chicago and a lover of everything story related. My goal is to kick this novel out as fast and as well as I can. My original deadline for the first draft was a year, but so far, I don't know if I can make that....BUT I will try my hardest and see where that gets me. Guess that's it for now...Back to work